NEVERENDING HELL

[ms lynne briggs]

Our two children have been in care since jan 2005, due to a mild neglect case and a minor drink issue i had, i went to counselling ads went through every stage and completed it and got a certificate and for 6 years ive been abstinent. at contact which is so infrequent we are still supervised with obnoxious workers whom act not unlike prison officers, causing distress with the children. Originally both children were placed together but after 18 months they were seperated living in different cities, they very rarely see each other. Our daughter is 14 this year and our son is 16, all they talk about when they do get to see us is how they hate their liives and want to return to us when they can ,its horrible to see them so distressed and at contact if they speak their mind the worker threatens them with ending contact so therefore no real feelings are shown its all rather robotic.Both children have ran away from their foster homes my daughter as recently as 3 months ago ,we werent there and police and foster carer turned up and took her back, it was only because a neighbour told us or we wouldnt have found out ,when i tried to speak to social worker about this he started saying it was all my fault and if i hadnt drank the children wouldnt be in care, but thats years ago and life is so very different now.ive got a career, i drive a car, but im still treated like a child myself at contacts. It was horrible but after MANY hearings in court i finally resigned myself to the fact i would never get them returned, i really dont see how their behaviour can possibly encourage people to be on the straight and narrow, we went to hell and back and so many times i didnt feel i could carry on ,i found inner strength i never thought i possessed, so many times ive heard of people having other children after these circustances but unfortunately i was too old by then. The cruel fact is that when we do see them its like weve never been apart for 3 to 4 hours and then we are back to the cold ,harsh reality of it all.